Thursday, October 25, 2012

10 Things I Say To My Kids That You Probably Don't Say To Yours

1)"Hey no more vegetables for you, me and daddy want some."

Not sure how common that one is.
My oldest (2.5 year old) is a pretty good eater most days and sometimes he asks to eat the veggies off
of our plates too. Meanwhile, we're forcing my youngest (1.5 year old) to eat his veggies.

2)"Have you lost your mind?!?"

I say this maybe every other day when I'm in pure shock of what I see happening. Usually when my boys are standing on their kiddie table throwing toys clear across the room while I'm trying to eat lunch or empty the dishwasher.

I also say this when my youngest gets ahold of lotion bottles....that his brother gave to him <----interestingly enough, his face is always spotless.

3)"We don't eat our boogers! We wipe them on our shirt!"

After my 2.5 year old's second week of school, he would say to us, "Look, a booger." Then he would pop it in his mouth and cheese. He was reminded that mommy and daddy don't walk around eating boogers.
Hey, its not like he's going to run and find a kleenex and it was all I could think of at the time so now I roll with it to be consistent.

4)"He's not allowed to have cake or cookies."

Anytime we go to picnics or parties, I tell whoever is offering cake that my youngest "can't have any because he doesn't eat meat or vegetables."
I usually get a weird look and a response like, "not even a little bit?"
Me: "No."
I've given in once and my youngest devoured said dessert, yet still won't [willingly] eat meat or vegetables. Just last night he 'ate' the tiny amount of salmon, rice and asparagus put in front of him and hoarded the food in his mouth. Full-jawed with food juice seeping out of his lips. (Yuck.)
He didn't swallow his food until we put a spoonful of sherbert in his mouth.
And before you think "of course he wouldn't eat salmon," he won't eat hot dogs, grilled/baked/fried chicken, Chic Fil-A chicken, tacos, chili, burgers, quesadillas.....NOTHING! I can't burn him out on pb&j's and grilled cheeses because that's what he eats for lunch!
If he had his way, he'd live on peanut butter, bananas, yogurt and graham crackers.

5)"If you boo boo in your underwear again, you're cleaning it up, not me."

I tried this [old school] tactic on my oldest in efforts to strongly encourage him to boo boo on the potty. I think I used this method maybe 3-4 times before I abandoned it. My mom said after 1 time of having to clean his own boo boo, my brother was potty-trained.
Well, screw that, I've paid my fare for the "he'll do it when he's ready" train.
This seat is comfortable too.

6) "Eat the cookie." "Eat the candy."

Actually I don't say this, my husband does and it always makes me chuckle. My oldest doesn't have a big sweet tooth. He'll ask for desserts and after 2 or 3 bites, he's "all done."
I like to say he prefers the "sugars of the earth." If I ate like him, I'd have my 6-pack by now.
(His non-fresh fruit desserts are fruit snacks, dried cranberries, yogurt and vanilla ice cream.)

7)"Get your hand out of your butt."

I'm saying this allllll the time. Apparently I need to let them go 'cowboy' more often so their privates can see freedom every now and then.
I just hate accidents on the carpet. I don't mind their beds, but when they leave the bed, underwear and diapers it is.

8) "You're going to be my height by the age of 8!"

I'm 4'11" tall. My husband is 6'1" and his family members are 6'1" or taller. Right now, my 2.5 year old comes to the bottom of my ribs. I'm pretty sure that most moms aren't saying that!
{secretly jealous of you tall chicas}
Not to mention, he says weekly, "Mommy yittle and daddy big." I laugh and say you're right, thanks.
Naturally, I have a big personality and tall friends. In heels most of them are 6' + some.
So glad our party picture days are over so I no longer look like I'm breastfeeding.....hahaha.

9) "Stop poking your finger in my deodorant!"

Seriously, why must I say this at all?!? My youngest is curious in the worst way.

10) "I think you need anger management for toddlers."

My youngest's first response is to hit. Its not a hard hit but that's not the point. When he gets sad or upset with his brother, he will penguin-walk or penguin-run around the house and hit him.
No, not take the toy back or tell mommy or daddy....just straight up hit him. Then the back and forth hitting takes place. Sometimes its funny because they'll hug and say sorry to each other before "I come over there." I always turn my head to laugh.
Luckily, he doesn't do that to other kids, but we're still working on it.

Today I'm linking up with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.


  1. #9 made me burst out laughing. Seriously, the things we say to them. Last week, I said, "Please take your microphone off of my butt". Really? I have to say this?

    1. He sneaks into my bathroom and grabs it off my counter or from under the sink (wherever I left it that morning) and picks picks picks it off. The things we say....smh.

  2. These are really cute! Especially, 3 and 5 because I have done it. :) My son is a picky eater, too and he rarely eats meat. I don't force it for my own sanity.

    1. Then we have a ton in common! I just knew I was by myself with those two sayings. :)

  3. Hilarious!! I wouldn't even know where to begin for a post like this. I think every family has there "isms". lol

    BTW, both of my kids seem to have the same diet as your youngest. My oldest eats a few more things, but for the most part PB&J, chicken nuggets, Eggo Waffles, turkey hot dogs and applesauce are the only things he will eat. *sigh*

    1. Girl...GOD bless you! I'm so not about that life. I'm so grateful to have at least ONE easy eater. Oh but I can add french toast sticks....of course something sweet.

  4. I am laughing so hard I am crying because I can not believe how similar your list is to ours. Maybe we're not weird after all! By via Mama Kat's. :)

    1. I'm just glad I'm not alone. Hahaha. I laugh, but I'm serious.

  5. Oh goodness! So silly! And, I have to say.... I am jealous of your "non-tallness". I am 5'6" but I ALWAYS wanted to be shorter! :)

    1. You're the ideal height! I'm sure I'm always getting second glances, hahaha.

  6. "we dont eat our boogers, we wipe them on our shirt!" YES YES YES! My little girl...yes obsessed with boogers lately. Baby boogers, big name it. And she LOVE to wipe them on MY shirt...LOL

    Visiting from mama kats! Would love for you to visit me!

    1. Funny enough, today they both started to wipe their boogers on my shirt. Their boogers are tiny so I don't care. All I care about is that they're not going into their mouth!!!

  7. haha! I think all toddlers need anger management! I read an article once that equated a toddler to having a mentally unbalanced, drunk boss.

    1. This is HILARIOUS! That pretty much nails it.

  8. Lol...these are hilarious! Boys so much fun to raise them!!

  9. These are great! LOL I happen to say #7 all the time, I have a 2 year old and he's recently started to "explore" and I must say, those are seven little words I never thought I'd say in a sentence all together! And #3 just about made me choke on my drink. LOL

    Stopping by from Mama Kat's

  10. I feel you one the anger management one, who knew such little things could have such bad tempers, or such dirty looks??? I think they learn the looks from daddy, just saying!


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