Monday, November 4, 2013

Kitchen Table Talk With My 2 & 3 Year Old Boys....

CAUTION: This is what happens when you're blunt with your kids....err uh I mean, your boys. But duh, right?

What age is it that kids realize that girls and boys are different?  My boys are on the brink of this age-dreading discovery.
This past summer, we took a family vacation to SeaWorld in San Antonio with some friends and their 3 kids. We had a ton of fun (that made me super tired for the entirety of August) but their newly-turned 3 year old boy left a lasting gift with my boys before they left. The word boobies.

Of course, when I first heard their youngest son say it, I laughed and then asked my friends where he got that from. I don't think I got a real answer, just more about how he's the defiant one of their brood.
Well, since the weekend of July 4th, that's all I hear my little guys talk about. We gave them the stipulation that they could only say that word AT HOME. And boy do they wear it out!

They use it in all kinds of ridiculous contexts....just to bother us. (They know they're bothering us because of our "Hey hey hey!!!" reactions. For example, they say, "Your name is Reid Boobies!" "You have boobies ears." "You have a boobies plate." "1-2-3-4-5-6-boobies-8-9-10! ---> W.T.F.

This is not every day but it is.....every other day. {blank stare}
A few weeks ago, the kitchen table talk was about boobies, butts and penises.
How do they know all of this stuff? We told them of course! But since they're boys, they wouldn't be normal if they weren't obnoxious, I guess.

We usually just stay silent, glance at each other and stuff our faces when they talk like that....and try not to burst out laughing.
Because laughing is like putting gasoline on a fire and getting upset would be unfair.
We've never really done the baby talk kind of thing, probably because our brain isn't that creative. We're engineers. (When I pledged my sorority in college, my lack of quick creativity really was shameful. Ugh.) When we bathe them we have them wash and dry their own private part and tell them that no one should touch it besides them.

On a separate occasion when I was out shopping with my kids, they needed to potty and I took them to the big handicap stall. I used the restroom after they did, my youngest tried to sneak a glance while I was peeing and said, "Mommy, that your penis?" Me: Uh, no honey. Mommy doesn't have a penis, only men do. Women have private areas. Now turn back around so I can wipe."
I can't have my baby walking around thinking everyone has a penis!

The night the kitchen table talk made me and my husband stuff our faces in silence, all we heard was, "Mommy has boobies but no penis just a butt." Then they went around the table and said whether each of us had "boobies" or "nippos."

Needless to say, my husband almost choked on his food. I just put my head down so that they didn't smell my shock, discomfort and laughter. I mean my kids are brutal to us because shock, discomfort and laughter fuels them.
I can't wait until the love affair with this word is over....but I won't be holding my breath for that to happen anytime soon.

Do you have any similar stories from your kids or kids that you know?


  1. I laughed out loud several times. I can't even imagine keeping a straight face. Your boys are too much! :)

    I'm sure you want to have a few words with your friend for having her son introduce your boys to the word, lol.

  2. I'm not sure if my comment went through, ugh!

  3. Lol...young kids are so funny sometimes :)


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